8.06.2009


We bought this toddler bed off Craigslist for $10 total. Trae wakes up and always ends up in our bed unless he was sleeping in the crib, which of course meant that Archer was in our bed all night every night. It was either that or both of them were in there all but the first 2 hours...so I thought maybe a cute little bed of his own would do the trick. He seems pretty stoked here, after I surprised him with Lightning McQueen sheets.

Conked out and slept the entire night through.
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...or not. He actually went in our room and fell asleep all on his own in our bed, and we moved him here where he slept for about 3 hours and then came in our bed. I know what you're thinking..."you STILL rock him/let him yank your hair to go to sleep?" I know...but seriously dudes, I have never been able to let my kid scream and cry for hours (because they are that stubborn) it just gets on my nerves to much and I get all tense and frustrated and take them out just so they shut up. (of course I don't tell them that, but by the time I get them out I am frustrated enough that those words are coming to mind)Ahem. The second night was better, but he was still in our bed by morning. I thought maybe if we set the bed up in our room for a week or two and he got used to that, then maybe we could move it into his own room and he'd sleep peacefully all night long? Any other (non-judgemental) opinions? I know that you shouldn't rock kids/let them sleep with you/nurse them to sleep or they'll be doing it until they're 16, BUT since I rebelled and did it anyway, now I am open for suggestions on how to get them to sleep in their own bed ALL NIGHT LONG, because somehow they know just when I am dozing off and wake up and then I have to get up and get all cold to go get them and nurse them...or send their dad off to lay with them in their toddler bed, but he totally digs the Lightning McQueen sheets, so he doesn't mind.
Also open for suggestions on weaning, because I want my body back and Archer really doesn't care about that fact, he just wants boobs.

17 comments:

Stacy said...

I'd say 1. tell him "you're going to sleep in your own bed tonight. If you wake up, Mommy & Daddy are going to put you in your own bed." 2. Then follow through & be consistent.
You might not get much sleep at first. You might want to put him in bed & then sit nearby or just outside the door (if you know he will get up right away). When he gets up pick him up & put him back without talking to him & no eye contact. Consistency works. If he cries & it works (you let him go to your bed) he will continue to do it. Not judgemental in anyway. Do what works for you.

Stacy said...

Cute bed & great price too!

Cheri said...

we're in the same boat! Both the boys slept in our bed..Elliot was easy to get out because, for the most part, he LIKES to sleep by himself. Liam? Not so much! I'm trying to "train" him to take naps in his own bed to get uesd to it. He needs to at least do that much before I start taking care of a new baby in a couple months. The other day I let him cry forever before I went to go get him..and found he'd taken his diaper off, peed all over the place....and was all scratched up! woops..

Ben, Heather & kids said...

Come on- how many 16 y.o. do you know that are still getting nursed by Mommy and rocked to sleep? :)

Weaning- about 9-10 mos, I switched my kids to a bottle. Suprisingly with no trouble. Does Archer take a bottle or formula now at all? If not.. just slowly add more formula (or whatever you want him to have) to your milk.. until he gets all formula.

Bed-time.. always a fun. I agree with what Stacy said. But if crying drives you nuts, that method will make you mad crazy. It'll be nuts the first while. Our kids still sleep in our bed. Not every night, just often enough that 'normal' people think is unnecessary.

Try having him sleep in his bed in your room. Then once he figures out he needs to sleep in HIS bed, move him to his own room. Does he sleep with Elliot? Maybe sleeping in Elliots room is another option (if E will tolerate it)
Another thing is reward- if he sleeps in his bed, in his room (or wherever you decide) he gets a treat, toy,etc?!

Give it time. Each night will likely get better. How old is Trae again? John is just about 2, still in a crib. And no where near going into a bed yet- I'm hanging on to the 'keep-him-a-baby' thing.. or so I've been told. :)

Good luck! I wouldn't get too worked up about it. I highly doubt Trae/Archer will be sleeping in your bed when they are 16 :) Your a good Mom, and good Mom's always do whats best for them/their kids..even if it's not the norm or what's expected in society!

So is that the worlds longest comment ever? sheesh.. shut up heather! :)

Lindsay said...

when we first put cole in his "big boy bed", we also put a baby gate across the doorway, since the bedrooms are on the second floor. he's got no choice but to stay in his room... sounds mean, put that way!:) really, we get him if there's a problem... anyway, i never weaned cole because he was already on formula by 6 months, but someone i used to work with say that she used wesson oil. like, the cooking oil, not the gun oil. her kids took one taste of the stuff and never nursed again. that's my only suggestion for now... of course, that might mean quitting cold turkey; otherwise i would also suggest gradually reducing the number of times he nurses and replacing them with the bottle. maybe start in the evenings so jason can give it to him, just so he gets used to it. kids can be so stubborn... :)
also- NEVER let anyone tell you that you shouldn't rock your kids or whatever. they're your babies, do what you want. sometimes on a hectic day, that's all the real quality time i get with ours, is when i rock them for their naps. i say, do what you want and cherish every moment of it :)

Amber said...

Thanks everyone...

Stacy: It worked for nap time :D

Cheri: I've been putting Archer down in the crib after he's been asleep to get him used to the idea, but once Trae is in his own bed, I will tackle Archer :D

Heather: Trae is 2 1/2, and we initially tried letting him sleep with Elliot, but he always slept better in the crib. Problem is the next little guy is being booted there, and he always wakes up in elliots bed and ends up in ours. Yurns out this is true in his own bed as well...I don't pump much because I just barely have enough supply to begin with and is probably why he nursing every few hours still..I would hate to pump that often and feed it to him, but it might be what I have to do. He won't take a bottle from me of formula, not sure about breast milk, but I hate to waste the frozen bag I have to try it out in case I have to go somewhere...

Lindsay: Hmm, interesting. Maybe i'll try that...

Jenny said...

I read the book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr. Richard Ferber. Rebecca was rocked to sleep from birth until she was 2 1/2 and she was very addicted to it. This book was the greatest thing ever for us. It took two REALLY bad nights but then she was done. Ever since, she's slept really really good. The thing is, I did finally have to let her scream...it was tough. TOUGH. But we did it and it was worth it. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Stacy said...

Glad it worked for nap! I guess I've always been the kind of mom that feels like yes, this child is the center of my world but I also had a life before he arrived. It's not that I don't want to be bothered - I wanted this child more than anything else I ever wanted but I intend to have the control. And I want things a certain way & I believe kids will live up to your expectations. Expecting a child to sleep in his own bed is realistic-and necessary-for you both to get a decent night's sleep. Maybe this kind of thinking seems harsh sometimes but really, kids do so well with structure, clear expectations and parents following through. Brett slept with us too when he was a baby but I don't remember it being for long.

Stacy said...

I agree with the Ferber method or watch a couple Supernanny episodes & see what she does (basically what I already said) - it works. I train day care kids the same way. You have to tell yourself: He will cry. He will be OK. It will be worth it. And no, it won't take long!

Stacy said...

Can you tell this is something I feel strongly about?! :)

Heather T said...

what they said...:D

Sam said...

Adorable bed;)

Matt, Ashley & Alexus said...

I didn't even see your post until I did mine. I guess we're both sort of in the same boat. Ally knows when we tell her to go to bed she goes to "her bed" but some nights she tries to pull some sneaky stuff and when where putting her to bed says "daddys bed" and goes any and crawls into our bed. But most night shes goes into her. But our problem is that she wakes up multiple times a night.

When she does we just put her back she fusses a little bit but I think it's b/c she's still 1/2 asleep. With a little shushing she seems to go back to sleep rather quickly but it stinks to have to do it 5 times a night. She up more at night

Matt, Ashley & Alexus said...

Spencer is. But what can I do? If you find anything that works let me know. I would have to agree with Stacy and we have done that quite often but most times I'm to tired to get up and want to put her back. :( and like you said it's cold. But Maybe I just need to stink to my guns. But I always think of 2 songs. "It Wont be Like This for Long" and "Your Going to Miss This" They are both so true. I'm going to miss being able to pull her into bed with me and cuddling with my little princess. So I try not to get to

Matt, Ashley & Alexus said...

worked up about it. Even tho some nights it is a little crowded. I hope something works out for you guys!

Neisha said...

re: Archer's just wants boobs. my reply: what man doesn't :)
(hope no one gets offended by that comment)

re: kids sleeping in parents beds. my kids never did and I will never do it with any possible future kids. we've never had problems with our kids sleeping in their beds at nap or night. just with getting them to go to sleep, mainly for naps

Mindy said...

what jenny said. i read the book & did the sleep training with ayla when she wad 9 months. it only took 2 nights & it was less than an hour each night. fast forward to kaia. i checked the book out again. i really loved every minute of having her in our room/bed at first. now i'm starting to miss my sleep. it's been slower going than with ayla, but after one week she's waking up once in the night vs. 4 times!

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