It's been a trying week to say the least. Without going into to much detail, it has been one of the toughest weeks for me in a long while and I am exhausted, but I can't sleep. I love how that works out. I'm not trying to belly ache about my overly full plate at all, but I just feel very overwhelmed on top of having a handful of kids to deal with 24/7. I've said and done things this week out of frustration that I am not proud of and I just decided to take a step back and really think about which battles I'm willing to fight.
I logged onto a blog that I frequent about a little boy named Nathan who died very shortly after he was born. He was supposed to turn one this week, and his mommy made a video for him that I took a peek at tonight and it really made me ashamed. I get to tuck each one of my kids in at night and kiss their little faces and tell them how much I love them. I get to listen to their little stories and questions and jokes. I get to watch them grow and change and learn new things. I get their kisses on my cheek and their hands in mine. I'll have millions of stories to tell about them, like the case of bottled water they dumped over their heads today to cool down. In the grand scheme of things, will $3.47 really make a difference? It was one of those things where I stood there shocked...and then told them they had to replace it with money from their piggy banks, which I think is a good thing to teach them, but to really let it sour my day? A little over the top.
I have to learn to take a step back more often when I am tired and overwhelmed and frustrated and just look at the entire picture and decide if the thing that could potentially cause so much frustration for the entire day is really that epic that I should let it, because there are many many things that happen that a lesson could be taught and we could move on, but instead I let it aggravate me the entire day.
I don't know if I've even gotten the point across that I was trying to make...and I'm to tired to proof read and clarify if I haven't. I feel a bit like I've been rambling...the main thing is that I am taking the time to pay attention to what really matters.