my favorite picture from the weekend...i was sitting out on our lovely new deck in a rainstorm.

I broke down and had wheat today because we had Olive Garden for lunch, and who am I to pass up a bread stick? Well, it's back to wheat free living tomorrow...I am swollen. It could of course be an unrelated side effect, but I don't swell often...unless I'm pregnant and about to pop that puppy out. Anyway, I have cheek bones! So, wheat free is the way to be...for me...and my baby...

My baby sis took pity on me and made me a delectable wheat free chocolate dessert. It's like a cheese cake, but chocolate with andes mints crumbled on top. I was very territorial of it, and I'll be eating the last piece tomorrow for breakfast. I'm embarrassed, but I'll tell you how many pieces I've eaten today if you promise not to judge me or check to see if it really went to my hips the next time you see me :)

Elliot turns 7 on Wednesday. We have the awesomest sweetest gift...that I'm trying to keep my mouth closed about. I foresee some crazy awesome photo shoots!

Most importantly, I was finally able to get some sleep in this weekend. I managed to sleep until 9 this morning while my prince got the kids all ready for meeting...and then when were we all supposed to nap, but 2 mini us's refused, he took them out and closed the door so I got another 2 hours worth :) Sleep has alluded me all week for some reason...I have a very hard time pin pointing the source of my stress, so theres nothing to be done but wait for it to go away or wait for my body to collapse out of sheer exhaustion, which is what went down. I feel asleep and couldn't wake up...I even got up with children and don't remember it in the morning.

I think I'm rambling, so off I go to sleep yet again...


What I really want is a giant cupcake...

This wheat free thing...I'm telling you it is hard. Everything has wheat in it. Well, except stir fry, salad (hold the croutons and bread stick side), and chicken over rice. That's all I've been eating. I guess I had a brat rolled in ketchup and onions the other day...

Don't get me wrong, the food is delicious...but Britta keep taunting me with her cupcakes and I've been thinking about them all morning...hang on, i've got to wipe the drool...

Bring on the wheat free recipes! I need some variety...and some desserts that I can actually have.


Crazy 8's tag, courtesy of Sam

Tag Rules...
1. Mention the person who tagged you.
2. Complete the list of 8's.
3. Tag 8 of your wonderful blog friends!

8 things I look forward to:
1. Elliot's T-ball game tonight.
2. Shooting another wedding Saturday
3. Getting the rummmage sale over with...I am stalling because it is so over whelming.
4. Our mini vacation to Devils Lake/Midevil Times/Bay Beach/Zoo
5. My birthday
6. Our house being done 100%.
7. A date night
8. A warm sunny day that I can hang out in my hammock and read a book while the kids play.

8 things I did yesterday:
1. dishes
2. laundry
3. mopped the kitchen floor
4. bathed the kids.
5. made stir fry
6. had coffee brought to me by my husband.
7. went to meeting
8. slept restlessly

8 things I wish I could do:
1. hire a housekeeper
2. and a gourmet chef
3. and a personal masseuse
4. a nanny as well, just for when I need a break...not to raise them.
5. join a gym
6. buy a beach house
7. and a truck for Jason
8. and bulid my own studio.

8 shows I watch: (no TV....occasionally online I watch...)
1. House, MD
2. America's Next Top Model
3. CSI
4. Britains Next Top Model
5. Law and Order
6. Scrubs
7. A Baby Story
8. ?

8 bloggers I tag:
anyone who wants to do it :)

any ideas as to what is going on here...?

....all great guesses. actually, he is kissing on the post :)

Baby Brookelyn

Someday soon she will be off to school...she keeps me sane and laughing. The other day Elliot was bugging her to play outside and she kept saying no. Finally she said "No...now stop harrassing me!" She wanted to do a little photo shoot last night :)


Trae was so tired on Monday...when I grabbed my camera to get a shot of the tired expression below he covered his face like this.

Then he asked for more corn, and as I prepared it he was nodding off.

He woke up in time to take a few hearty bites...

but he just couldn't stay awake long enough to chew it.

aaaand, he's out for the count.

He tried to wake up enough to go back out and help the guys, but in the end he couldn't even make it off the chair. Grandma rocked him back and forth 3 times and he was out for a few hours.

sleeping babe

all i wanna do...


Update: She's safe and with her family again :)

....runaway. An ongoing search is going on as we speak. I don't have a lot of information, but I feel like if I can get what details I do know out there maybe someone will recognize her and get her back to her family.
Sydni was last seen Sunday afternoon in Wisconsin Rapids around Lake Wazeecha carrying her guitar case. Police have not intervined as of yet, as she is classified as a runaway. Her family believes she just wanted to "go into the woods..find a stream....be alone." If you can help with the anything please call Jaime White 715-321-1261...Furniture Studio 715-325-7225...or Dave Ramsden 715-459-3009.
Thank you for your help!
Update: The police are finally helping...read the article here.

A leisurly game of croquet

As we were shooting at Lawrence Chapel on Saturday, the groom says "I think theres a dude over there in a purple swimming suit...are they playing croquet? All I really wanted was an official statement....

Guess this is it...pretty darn hot if I was into cross dressers.


lazy sunday

i love my life.


Chaotic Day Bullets:

  • The big news is that I went to see the surgeon today and wasn't at all surprised to find out that the type of hernia I have is rare. So obsessed with being different and exotic that it manifests in my medical conditions. Normally hernias show up either in the groin or the abdominals....mine isn't in either place and instead is half way between my hip and my belly button. Apparently you've got your abdominals and then a triangle of muscles jutting out towards you hip which is where your blood vessels run. Sometimes the holes where the vessels run stretch out and viola'...you've got a hernia. It turns out it is "tissue" (code for fat:)) bulging out and ot intestine. It's a cinch to repair, just a little incision and 2-3 stitches to close the hole with very low risks, however, since I am not at all symptomatic and it is harmless my doctor said it's up to me if i'd like her to fix it or not. After a 2 second deliberation I decided to go ahead and pass on that. It could get bigger, it could stay like it is forever (the size of my pinky finger tip) and I didn't ask but I wonder if it'd go away if I lost more weight? The wheat free diet is having that result...no cookies, but at least I can still have milk duds. I was this * close to kissing her...my nerves were going crazy, and I was very relieved. Nausea is a new nerve symptom for me...and disappeared before I made the 4 mile walk back to my car. (a very long drawn out story about the frustration of finding parking and the actual office that I won't bore you with...this will be long enough) So yay, no surgery.
  • While I was waiting for my name to be called, this lady came in with her mom for the mom's appointment and she had a daughter about Brookelyn's age, even though she looked like she should have been the grandma. (the girl called her mommy) Anyway, the real grandma got checked in and came to sit on the love seat where the mom and little girl were sitting, and the way she talked to her little girl floored me.


So the little girls climbs on her lap really nicely, still holding her Highlights magazine and pen.

Mom: pushing the little girl off her lap onto the floor...GET AWAY FROM ME UNTIL YOU CAN TREAT ME NICE....NOW YOU LOOK YOUR GRANDMA IN THE EYES AND SMILE AND SAY HI.

Little girl: shaking head.

Mom: Tell her! Now! I guess i'll look at my own magazine and not do yours with you you little imp...

Little girl: Slapping herself up and down her arms and flailing about.

Mom: You STOP THAT right now!

Little girl: Punching the air and flailing and finally sitting with her arms crossed and pouting.

I suppose it's none of my business, but I really wanted to tell her that maybe if she talked to her daughter like she was human she'd act like one. It made me think of Brookelyn and made me sad for the little girl...and really? She just seemed to despise the poor thing. In case you were going to comment on it...the little girl seemed very normal and functioned appropriately for her age and so forth until her mom started berating her. I realize that sometimes there are reasons that we need to be hard core and everything, but I really believe that this so called mom was just not nice and there wasn't really any excuse for her behavior. She was acting out...but she was being perfectly good just reading her book until her mom shoved her off her lap annd went into one...

  • There was this mom that I mistook for a 14 year old at t-ball tonight. She was getting on my nerves because instead of minding her boy, Zeke, she felt a need to mind my boy, Trae. Jason had to work concessions tonight, so I was watching Elliot play with the 3 other kids to run after. I shouldn't have really worried to much about keeping an eye out for Trae because he touched a rock, she tattled. Heck, he eyed a rock, she tattled. Then he picked up a stick and as I'm talking to him and telling him to put it down so no one got hurt, she's shrieking behind me like there was major pandemonium going down. I finally got popcorn to try and get him to stay in one place and all of a sudden he started crying pretty hard. I asked him what was wrong and, you guessed it, she answered for him that he had bitten his tongue. Of course I resisted the urge to snap that if she didn't mind her own business there would be major pandemonium going down because I am sick up to here ^ with your commentary on MY childs activities.
  • Lastly...just out of curiosity: Lets say you were a coach (a mom coach) of your son's Little League team and he wasn't listening AT ALL and you were really fed up, but your entire teams parents were sitting watching the game and could here exactly what you are saying, would you really yell at him to "get his a$$ off of that right this minute?" Because I just don't think that I would. Great example of how we talk to each other I tell ya.

I'm not trying to rant it out here...I just have to get some of this negative energy gone so I can get some kind of sleep after battling a migraine through the night last night and most of today.

Everything you'll ever want to know...

For all you photography and videography buffs out there, I just wanted to give you a link to some informational videos done by EOS Lighting, that can give very in depth insight on how to set exposure and white balance as well as discussion on lenses, composition, and depth of field. If you are more into the video aspect, there are videos on focusing, zooming, and recording audio for video on your video camera. They have videos on a very interesting concept called Chroma Key that I urge you to check out...it's pretty awesome.

...and if it's not there, just e-mail my friend Stephen, and he'll get right on that.


I cannot help it...I can't resist pictures of them sleeping peacefully side by side.

Trae fell asleep helping mow the lawn.

Anya came for a few hours yesterday..she is holding a tulip, but she was more interested in eating it than anything. (of course she didn't...don't worry)

My little blond guy:)


So as it turns out, the homeopathist (if that's a word!) found Archer has a wheat allergy only, which is great news because I really thought he would have a dairy allergy as well, but I'll still have to cut out enough things from my diet. I haven't a clue really about homeopathy, I just know that western medicine at this point wasn't helping and so decided to try something different.

Both boys are one a few different things that showed up in their readings...and in about 5 weeks we should know if they've worked or not.

If anyone understands homeopathy well, I am totally open to more information as I am basically clueless. I do know that bringing it up gets some awkward feedback though...(ahem, Jason) Of course I really could be off my rocker with this, but I'm not one to rule out certain things just because I don't have to have some expensive test run to diagnose something. I'm hoping it works though, that's be awesome not only for the boys, but that "I told you so..." I'll love that part.
Elliot got a free ticket to a Timber Rattlers game for his reading incentive program at school. It ended up being a double header because of a cancelled game a few weeks ago. Just as the first game was getting done and about a 1/2 hour before we had to leave anyway for Brookelyn's t-ball game, the dude behind up spilled his cappuccino into our row...all over Jason's feet. Of course our kids were stomping around in it and the guy yelled at his kid and made it his fault for making his coat fall on the ground so when he bent over to pick it up he spilled his drink "that cost me 5 bucks!!" all over. He told us not to worry about it, he wasn't...

Really, that makes total sense because it's not all over your feet...I can totally see that. Okay, no worries.

Brookelyn has so much fun playing t-ball. When we signed her up, we originally were told that her games would be on Thursday evenings. They ended up being on Sundays at 5, so we are sad to miss gospel meetings and have learned for next year to double check before paying the money and getting her hopes up.

One last thing: Do fox's eat kids? I'm just curious because we saw a fox in our yard again last night and heard yipping all.night.long. from pups that must be pretty much in our back yard.


I got roses from my mom for Mother's Day...there were 5, but I loved this shot.

Playing meeting...Archer throws little protests now to be able to play with the kids :)

Another cute one, but Trae has major boogers. (blow it up now to see for yourself!)
I ran into the store last night for milk and ran into a drunk dude headed for the liquor aisle. he reminded me of a scruffy Hugh Jackman and had a swagger that told me Tada!! he's drunk...I was blocking his path to booze so I smiled and tried to maneuver my cart around him, but before he'd let me through, he rested his hand on my carts and peered in.

Drunkard: Thatsh allohht a milkkk.

Me: I have a lot of kids...

Drunkard: Yesh, looksh like iht.

He totally was hammered and decided to wait for me and the guy behind me rather than go in the lane that had no waiting and kept trying to make eye contact and conversation. I wasn't in the mood though, to have a conversation with a drunk guy, and I think that hitting on someone who just told you she has lots of kids is tacky. I suppose it was the booze.

Anyhow, I decided to pretend to talk on my cell phone and wait for him to come out to see if he was going to drive. I picked out the car I thought suited him (a big old Crown Vic) and sang along to the radio with my phone up to my ear so he'd think I was actually talking to someone and that's why I was still there. (I totally think detective work rocks) He came out and walked to the trunk of the big old boat that I thought he would, and fumbled with his keys trying to look suave but not managing that because he was too sloshed to even walk straight. In case you are wondering, he bought Vodka, Lipton Iced Tea, celery, and milk. Ahem...puts his stuff in the trunk, which really? why not throw it in the back seat rather than spend minutes fumbling for your keys to unlock the trunk, unless of course you are trying to eliminate the temptation of drinking while you drive.

Of course he would drive a huge freakin' boat so that when he hits someone, he makes sure to kill them, all the while protecting his dumb ...

Anyway, I think drunk drivers are scumb. Anyone want to disagree with me...?



On Tuesday night at Elliot's baseball game, I noticed he was the only one besides the one girl on his team who didn't have baseball shoes. And I got a complex about it. The truth is, we've been looking in second hand stores and at garage sales for baseball shoes for both the kids, but haven't found the right size yet. As soon as I realized this, I had this overwhelming urge to run to the nearest store and buy them brand spanking new off the shelf. Except we can't afford to. Even if we could though, my logic is that there is no point in paying $30 a pair for shoes they are going to wear literally to 6 games and grow out of in time to play again next year.

I ended up getting them both shoes at a thrift store for $9 total, and I'm really happy about that. The thing that got me thinking is this:

I don't want to raise kids that have to have name brand hottest item all the time or they aren't cool type. (incidentally, the shoes I got were some poor suckers almost new Adidas and Louisville Sluggers that their kid wore 6 games last year) I don't want my kids to be the only one without something...but I don't want them to be the kids that get to the point of being all "you're wearing (insert store brand here)? I've got Nike's. Don't get me wrong, I do try to get the kids decent brands, especially shoes, but I try to be as thrifty as possible about it. My mom always tell me I have expensive taste :) We cannot afford, nor would I spend it if I did have it, to get the kids $90 tennis shoes...$30 jeans, and they don't need it. I buy it if I find a good deal, but I rarely buy things brand new.

So where do you draw the line between giving your kids the latest and greatest of everything and giving them things so that they aren't the only one without it, even though they really don't "need" it? The baseball shoes are not a must have, this is 5-7 years old here...it's just that I don't want to make them a target...but then again I feel like I didn't have everything new and trendy and I am fine, a better person for it even.

This is guilt. This is me feeling like someday, my kids will say they were the only one without baseball shoes and they felt so lame and it made them not even want to show up to practice. Maybe I'm over thinking?


So when we go into thrift stores I allow the kids to pick out something to carry around and play with while we are in the store...keeps them occupied so I can actually shop. The last time we went to this particular store we went to yesterday, there was a lady working and she saw Elliot playing with some truck on the end of the aisle I was in and told him to go put it away. First off, this stuff is DONATED and USED so I think that kids playing with it should be fine, say nothing about the fact that in all reality, it COULD have been something I meant to purchase. But the thing that miffed me is that he would have had to walk away from me a good ways to put it back on the toy shelf. So, I snapped for him to get over by me...and this broad throws her head back and snorts like she cannot believe I just over-rode her. So I haven't been in that store since. Yesterday, it was the only other option, so I went in hoping she was fired by now. No such luck. If I had to describe her, I'd tell you she is dirty, overweight, obnoxious, and I always want to call her Gladys. (she was even gossiping with the customers ahead of me about another customer that frequents being "mental" and when I left the 2 of them were talking about how odd "Gladys" was.) Anyway, there was no sign of her anywhere until we exited the dressing room. She is apparently the toy nazi or something...maybe she didn't have any toys as a kid or something, but you could see her getting all worked up that the kids had toys. I also had my stroller and the way she looked it over while I was in the checkout line convinced me she thought I was out to steal some crap. Anyway, she walks towards up with a dart for a gun, but not the gun Trae was currently playing with.

Grungy lady: Does this belong to what he's playing with...?

Me: Ahhh, nope. This gun doesn't shoot darts.

Brookelyn: Yep, I think it does go to this one mom, riiight....um riiight....here?

Me: (as grungy lady is trying to stick the freakin' dart on the gun that is now in my hand) Nope. It doesn't go to this one...

Brookelyn: Mom, I think it does...

As this most annoying lady stands there trying to prove me wrong, trying different spots where it COULD go but DIDN'T go, I grabbed the dart out of her hands and walked off, wanting to find tape to tape my know-it-all daughters mouth shut.

I decide I want to leave this store because I get irritated every time I come in to buy their DONATED crap and I've got some lady tailing me the whole time hounding me about toys and making me feel like a crook when I am not one. So up to the checkout we go, and believe me when I say if I wasn't already feeling inadequate as a mom I would have left the shoes there and walked out, and she's up there waiting. Lucky for her because I would have made a comment to the cashier if I could have pointed her out discreetly, about how insulting I find her. She finally gets done gossiping with the ladies ahead of me in line and it becomes my turn. Mind you, she IS NOT checking me out...just standing by looking over my stroller to make sure I don't make out with any free stuff. Then she moves in and man is this woman ugly...tickles Archers cheek. Baby cheeks are tiny, so her gross fingers so close to his mouth. (the one thing I hate about thrift shopping is how dirty I feel when I'm done...hands get washed with baby wipes when we're done) So, I pull the stroller back out of her reach. She ignores my obvious discomfort and lunges again to tickle his cheek. "tick-o tick-o!!!...oh, I got a smi-oh!" Me, clearly annoyed, pull the stroller back again with more force...cashier getting clearly uncomfortable with the situation. Grungy about to get slapped lady comes in again, having to step at least 2 steps closer tickles his cheek for the 3rd time. I bit my tongue somehow because I was really close to going off on her, pushed my stroller past her without a glance and headed for the exit. "Have a nice day now, y'all" Seriously?

Jump off a bridge and get clean, Gladys.

So, I vow to never go in that store again because I had to call 3 people on the drive home to vent, and that my friends, was some serious venting.


poop skidder*

Archer always poops first thing in the morning and it always goes up his back. This morning, he was awake talking to himself, but the alarm still had 7 minutes before it went off so I tried to ignore him as long as possible. I finally gave in when he started yelling at me. (he does this often...very vocal and aggressive these days, I think teeth)Anyway, I sat up and noticed little poop skids all over my bed from him arching has back and rolling side to side. It looked like an ice skating rink in the cartoons...and by the time I changed him, there were no traces of poop on his back...he did an excellent job of wiping it off all over my pretty green sheets.

*Reminds me of a story I heard once about a friend of my dad's who was dog sitting. The dog crapped while he was gone and must've had a turd stuck or something and when he got home there were skid marks all over the floor which he then had to clean up...my dad coined the term "poop skidder" based on that story.


maximum security

I met a friend at the mall today for Chinese take-out and a chat while the kids played in the play area...we'll call her Heather.* As we were both sitting there nursing our babies, we noticed that they were closing the play area for cleaning. They did barricade the exit with multiple signs, but never asked us to leave so we decided to let the babies finish and then go. Archer finished and as I walked out to throw away our trash, a security guard walked in right towards Heather, who was still nursing her baby. He said something, which I found out seconds later was "umm, we have to clean this now...so could you leave?" We (I) laughed hysterically because the guy came up with a macho swagger and surely he had to know what was going on under the blanket. I found it very funny that the 3 people setting up the signs to begin cleaning felt the need to call the security guard (who came in from the parking lot) to ask the breastfeeding mom's to leave the play area. Someone (Marsha) suggested that maybe they thought we'd go all Le Leche' League on them or something...either way it was hysterical.

* I've decided to call her Heather here because that is in fact, her name.


I had the perfect Mother's Day yesterday. The kids all hopped into our bed to wake me up and I got lots of hugs and kisses and little baby bites. I also got some marigolds from Elliot that he had grown in his class and a bean plant as well. Adorable cards from the 2 older ones...it was really a great day.

Of course the kids are all really really amazing, and special. I got to thinking about what makes each of them just so. I guess I was thinking about when they were babies and I was holding onto them so tight because Archer, my last baby, turned 8 months on Saturday.
When Elliot was born, I was new to everything. Everything he did was documented and written in the proper place in his little baby book. Every milestone he hit was shouted from the roof tops. We were so smitten with him and he was so amazing because he was our first, our learning experience.
Brookelyn came along as our first baby girl. We lovingly dressed her in frilly dresses and I remember taking her when she was a few months old to the mall for a "mommy and me" excursion and buying her a dolly. So a new experience with our little girl. A little girl I never openly admitted to hoping for, but I was really happy to have just one little girl on my side.
Trae came along after very frustrating months of infertility and loss. He was by far our most awaited, prayed for baby. We were so happy to finally have another baby around. He was a perfect baby as well, not crying much and sleeping peacefully beside us. (pulling my hair;)) We were so in love and taking in every moment with this child we had prayed so long and hard for.
Now we've come to Archer, our final newborn baby. He is growing so fast. I am sad at how fast it all went, but I am so proud to see him learn new things and every time I get his gorgeous grin I melt. I am cherishing every detail because I know it will be the last time MY baby learns "mama" or "dada" and MY baby takes his first steps. The last time I would feel kicks in my belly and the last time I would see MY baby for the very first time.
I was feeling a little guilty, like I was somehow paying more attention to Archer because I know he will be our last. But then I remembered that I did the same with Trae because I had no idea if we'd have fertility issues again, or if we'd want to try again. Now I realize that we really cherished each and everyone of them as much as we could and I am just really happy to be their mom.


best feeling yet


you've come a long way baby.

My baby is 8 months today. How time flies. He's saying mama and dada and hey and I can't stop squeezing him. I think we'll see some teeth soon as he's been drooling and in misery these past few days. I wish I could bottle him. I love you little guy, Happy 8 months Archer! ~mommy



Archer was content to watch from the porch.

The kids LOVE the train table....first thing they do in the morning, so we decided to move the coffee table out and replace it with the train table since they don't have space in their room for it. I think it's quite charming, actually. Notice Trae's boots? Always on the wrong feet, and he insists on wearing the everywhere. He's pretty adorable with it...he'll walk up at random intervals, lift his foot and say "my boots!" He is into footwear big time. Wonder where he gets that...?

I keep forgetting to note that he licked a worm this past weekend while we were out fishing...

Big weekend. Tomorrow we're putting the garden in at my parents house. We all made a pact to help with it and everyone will be picking from it. Makes my mouth water thinking about it.

I've got 2 shoots this weekend...glad to have the photography finally pick up a little.

Mother's Day dinner with my dad's side and then Jason leaves in the afternoon and will be out of town for a week. Brookelyn has a t-ball game Sunday night @ 5, and then Elliot has a game Tuesday and I work the concession stand. It will be interesting to see how it goes since Jason will be gone...I may have to leave the 3 with my mom and just take Elliot, but then he doesn't have a cheering section or anyone to tell him 6,748 times to pay attention to the game :0)

Wishing you all a perfect weekend and Happy Mother's Day to all you mom's out there!


ETA Tuesday @ 10 am...

and then we just have to whip it together quick, and we can enjoy it yet this summer!

Friday night plans...?

My friend Jaime is doing the Twilight Tour of Homes tomorrow night from 4-8pm with an after event from 8-10pm. Check out the links for more information. You'll find me there snapping picture after picture :) It's bound to be a good time, so if you haven't made plans for tomorrow night, come join us!



Elliot and Brookelyn both had T-ball games on Sunday. Both practices for Brookelyn's team were cancelled due to rain, so it was her very first time playing. It was cute to watch the kids play in the sand and point out the airplanes instead of focusing on the game. They get to bat until the hit and and they don't tag them out so they all got to make it home. There is only two girls on her team, and she lets the other little girl use her pink bat;)

Elliot's team gets three strikes and then they're out. Elliot struck out both times and I was wishing with every fiber of my being that his bat would connect with the ball, but it never did. He can hit the ball, he does consistently at practice, but I think the pressure of having my parents and his aunt and us made him a little nervous. Last night he hit a single and a double and made it home so we were really proud of him. His team won 14-5 last night and 10-0 on Sunday.
You wouldn't believe the coaches. Last night the other team dropped the ball and no one picked it up so the coaches on our team had the kids run. The bases were loaded, but no home runs were made and the coach from the other team yelled "C'mon...you're gonna count that?" I thought his head might explode and our coaches said "we're just having fun" and he said "WELL WE'RE JUST TRYING TO LEARN!" He was catching the missed balls behind the plate and every ball throw back was thrown a little harder until the pitches just decided to let in go between his legs and had to go to the outfield to retrieve it. He must have realized how immature he was being because he cooled it after that. I thought it was ridiculous that he got that worked up about it, not to mention that the kids were uneasy around him and he wasn't very encouraging to his team.


it drips with sarcasm.

****update: It looks like surgery is probably my only option, which totally bites. I'm waiting for the surgeon's office to call and schedule a consult and then we go from there I guess. Contrary to what the doctor said yesterday, it is not muscle and in fact my bowel that is bulging through the hole in the muscle and therefore should be repaired.

So I discovered a lump the other day on my lower right side. I have no idea what even made me notice it, but when I pushed on it it felt like I was pushing fluid or puss out of it. Quite a trip, as I'm a little side tracked by those things anyway. Throughout the day I continued feeling for the lump and pushing whatever was in it out. We helped my sister move that night and when I was showing my mom and sisters, they started making a huge deal about and I started to think maybe it was serious and called nurse direct when we were done.

My guess is the nurse I spoke with didn't cut it in an actual "situation" so she found her calling in the phone nurse industry. She wouldn't listen to the way I explained my problem...she kept insisting it was a zit that would eventually come to a head when I knew full well it wasn't that. When I told her forcefully it WASN'T A ZIT she decided to begin calling it a mass, but it wasn't that either...her final advice was to stop pressing on it and to call the doctor Monday. (this was Friday night) On Saturday morning I hit a swanky neighborhood garage sale in the morning and the lump was MIA when I woke up. An hour into garage saling, I noticed it along with a dull side/back ache. We spent our money in under 2 hours (scored a train table for $40, and Bogen Manfrotto tripod for $10!!! a hammock and stand for $10, and really nice clothes for the kids for reasonable prices) When we finished (first things first, you know) I called nurse direct again and explained again my situation. The pain that hadn't been there the night before alarmed the nurse and she convinced me I had a kidney problem and basically I rushed my tushy to the ER (it was on my way home :)) to find out that I didn't have anything wrong with my kidneys, wasn't pregnant, and whatever other tests they run from urine cultures were negative. (if I told them I knew I wasn't pregnant and they did a test anyway, am I required to pay for it?) Also, the lump I originally went in for was MIA again, so after prodding and whatnot for awhile, she decided it was "tissue" and said it was completely normal. Off I went with a prescription for something unrelated, annoyed that I'll have to pay hundreds of dollars for that visit. I didn't have to pay my usual co-pay on the script though...bonus!!! I can put that dollar towards my ER bill.

About 2 hours after leaving the emergency room, I noticed the lump yet again and really wanted to go in and be all "the thing's back and you need to look at it free of charge while it's still hanging out..." but of course I just grossed myself out over and over again by pushing the fluid out of it and forcing my family members to feel my "puss button" as I had taken to calling it. We had t-ball games all day Sunday that I will post about tomorrow as this is going to end up insanely long as it is.

Monday morning I woke up and the lump was there! I called and made another appointment for 10:45 with a doctor I loathe and I just don't know why I even go to her. In my experience, family practice doctors are the biggest batch of nerds ever.

As I was sitting in the waiting room, this 40-something dude came in wearing dirty dirty pants, black Harley boots, and a t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off. He walked past and sat down across from me. After glancing directly at me twice and saying "hiii" both times he sits quietly for a moment and then digs an eye booger out and eats it. Just as I'm processing that I've just witnessed a dude eating his eye booger for the first time ever (and what a milestone that was) he invades my thoughts and says "heeyyy, whaattts happnin'?" I told him not much and asked how about with him. He said he'd be doing okay if I wasn't for his arthritis and gout. He sticks his finger in his other eye and licks it too. A few moments pass and he turns to me like he hasn't noticed me before and says "heeyyy, whaattts happnin;?" again. I repeat that not much and decide not to tell him my thoughts on the eye booger eating and what it's done to my stomach. He tells me again about his gout and I'm glad we're so open with each other that we can talk gout and eat eye boogers in each others presence. I decide he probably has some type of personality disorder, as he reminded me of a client we had at the group home. I ended up feeling really mad about that because everyone that came in he'd nod and say "hiiii" and I was the only one to acknowledge him at all. One guy sneered at him and then just sat and stared at him as if he was trying to figure out his deal and I wanted to tell him to stop being such a jerk because clearly he has issues, but have a little compassion. You won't catch what he has by saying hi.

They finally call my name and get all the regular weight/bp/symptoms out of the way. I sit for a few minutes and wait for the doctor to come in. She does after about 15, and I stand up to present her with the lump. Except that it has disappeared again. She blurts out that all I need is an elastic belt...picture this...Doctor on her knees running her hands around each side of my waist repeatedly saying "you need to support this..backandforthbackandforth...you can buy them at Walmart, Scheels, my son got his at MENARDS!!...Hobby Lobby they have them in the back for lifting heavy stuff...." she gets to her feet, finally, because she was being so dumb I kinda wanted to kick her while she was down (haha, great play on words there...) and then starts "explaining" as she cups her breasts and heaves backwards and forward that just like we need support for these (pushes breasts up and lets them back down) I need extra support for my stomach muscles. She's sure it's from all the pregnancies, of course my bladder can't be the same. Incidentally it is the same and she tells me how lucky I am that I don't have my bladder falling out of my vagina and that my uterus hasn't prolapsed. As I look down at my feet because she is being beyond infuriating by being such a huge dork and kinda making me mad and want to laugh all at the same time I notice she's wearing socks with her sandals and I think "you would" and then tell her again I get what she's saying. She never elaborated about when I have to wear the belt or for how long, so I ask "so am I just wearing this all the time or what?" She goes back to feeling herself up and explaining the support thing and now I really do want to slap her and shake her until she shuts her pie hole because I can't stand this woman. Finally I snap "so I just wear this for the rest of my life or what?" She says when I'm lifting over 50 pounds. Great. Very cohesive to my lifestyle. I can't carry both of my small son's and my bag at the same time anymore unless I'm wearing the belt. I can't roller blade with them in the stroller anymore unless I wear the belt. And, I can't move my furniture by myself anymore, unless, of course, I wear my belt. I keep feeling for the bulge because I really wanted her to be able to feel what I have been feeling and make sure it's not, say, a tumor or something. She assures me, and I am comfortable now that I've researched it that a hernia it is.

She decided to get me a prescription for said belt, but before that she offers me a tetanus booster and tells me I need to schedule a fast to have my cholesterol checked. (note to Dr. Nerd...I am my own boss, suck it.) I refrain from the tetanus shot (I can get a crisis shot should I step on a rusty nail and it'll cover me, right?) and tell her I'll think about the other thing. Her computer is being slow and apparently the icon that says it's "thinking" is a flag because she's sitting there making flag motions with her hand and saying "waaave...waaave...waaave...." in a breathy voice. She comments on the slowness again and then adds full body wave motions and I just really want to get out of there before her nerd vibe rubs off on me. Or maybe I was just straining my hernia even more trying to resisting the urge to slap her silly, I'm not sure which. She offers me the tetanus shot again and says I may as well have it while I wait on her computer and I want to ask if she did a lot of shrooms in college or what is her problem with the waving? Finally I get the prescription and I'm out. She does mention again that I must schedule my cholesterol check, "I know Darling does your annuals, but I see he's never had it drawn. Just being thorough..." Well, Marie, Dr. Darling lives up to his name and he is very professional unlike some people, and I will have him do my testing at my next annual that I will pay HIM through the nose for because he's nice to me and doesn't call me fat OR contort his body in weird ways when I'm in his exam room. (she called me fat the last time I was in for an ulcer, that she wrongly diagnosed as a "weird zyphoid process thing" that would be worsened if I "kept gaining weight" which of course I was actually in the process of losing since I had just delivered a child or some such nonsense that caused me to gain weight in the first place) I notice that I have 1 refill on my script for an "elastic corsette support abdominal hernia belt" which is a daily PRN (as needed). Basically all day every day, because I'm always lifting over 50 pounds. Maybe she guessed and that's why she gave me a refill on her bogus prescription. She also says a girdle will work, and I'm thinking that they sell sexy girdles now...

I take it to the pharmacy to fill it, only to find out it is an over-the-counter thing. I sure am glad I subjected myself to the body swaying and what not.

Now that I've researched hernias, I realize that mine isn't in a typical location, and also that surgery is a very real option. I see nothing that says wearing an elastic belt will cure them, or that they heal in their own, but that would be really great if they could and mine would, however, I still plan on calling Dr. Darling today to talk about what else I can do. I did read about "strangulation" which is where your intestine gets pinched off and all the nastiness can spill into your gut and kill you and it is an emergency situation and everything...according to Marie, it is muscle that is bulging through not my intestine, but I want to be thorough and make sure that it isn't more serious than she thinks, seeing as how she hasn't even felt it.

The belt already came in handy this morning when I wiped out in my gravel driveway in my roller blades. I'm guessing that's not really a great thing for a hernia either.

I hate the word hernia. Luck thing people can't tell me "don't have a hernia" anymore, because that's just annoying.


I have a lot I want to post about, but I have some weird thing going on health wise and I have to go to the doctor again at 10:45. Wish me luck that it's nothing serious...

I wanted to share this and I keep forgetting:

The other day the kids were playing when Brookelyn and Elliot both came running up the stairs both trying to get to me first. Before Brookelyn could tattle, Elliot yells out "Brookelyn's tattling!!" I told him that him saying someones tattling is tattling, and he chuckled and said "oooh, yeah!" and continued laughing to himself for awhile. It was cool to see the "aha" on is face the second he got it.


what I hate about summer.

Woodticks. And pulling them off my baby. I don't care if he wasn't attached, I still hate him and I hated having to touch him. And I especially don't want them on my loved ones. Especially if theres no one here to rescue them but me. I faced a fear and then I cried. And now my skin is crawling.


  • Trae has started asking why constantly. It's really cute because he's rather cocky about it...I'll ask him to do something and he'll say "what mom...?" and then when I repeat myself he'll smile and say "why, mom....?"
  • Brookelyn keeps correcting me when I call the boys by the wrong names. This morning I was feeding Archer and accidentally called him Trae. She corrected me alright...she was all "Mom! That's not Trae, it's Archer....what did you forget his name...?"
  • Tomorrow I'm planning on going to some upscale garage sales in search of clothes for the kids. I decided even if we could afford new clothes I'd much rather get a deal anyway and they out grow things so fast so it makes perfect sense. Hopefully I can get things throughout the summer and they'll be set until next summer. I also have to think about having my own sale...
  • We've got t-ball this weekend, which is more consuming than it seemed at first. Both the kids have games on Sunday and I can't wait to see them play!
  • I spent the entire day editing these photos yesterday and then a few more hours uploading them, so check them out! The one of the kids on the tracks is my very favorite of the day...
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