So I haven't been in a particular mood to blog lately. Aside from the fact that winter is dragging on and on and on, well I don't know, I think that's the very reason right there. Besides that, the economy sucks and it's starting to scare me.

When we were first married, we had lots of extra money. I went for massages once a month and we ate out and had salon shampoo, which in my opinion is the best kind to have. Then we had Elliot. I still did the massage thing and had the good smelling shampoo, but we did fewer extravagant things. When Brookelyn was born, I did massages about every 3 months, but I still got my shampoo and was happy with that. Besides, I had my little rugrats to look after and it wasn't really a trade off because I was having so much fun. When Trae was born, I was ecstatic because we had put a lot of money, not to mention (my) our entire focus into conceiving. On the way home from the hospital, the transmission went out on our van. We had bought it in cash, but we didn't have the means to do that again, so a loan was taken out and we tweaked to make it work. Two months later, the transmission went out on Jason's truck, also paid off. Another loan was taken out, and soon we had things figured so that it still worked. Fourth baby comes, mom just had her first massage in over two years at Christmastime, with no plans of another one for a very long time. But, but what we've got going on over here...well, it's amazing.

I love to dress the kids up all cute and go out as a family and just be. Sure, we're not taking them to Disney On Ice, but they have more fun at the park anyway. I used to think that they had to do everything all the other kids were doing, or it somehow made us less adequate as parents. Now, I just know that we have to make it work with our budget and as long as we are with them, they are happy with that.

The other night when I took all four of the kids to Walmart and the grocery store, I thought it would be hectic and frustrating. Well, it was a bit of a challenge getting them all into the store, but once I didn't have to try to lug the carseat while bending to hold on to a tiny hand, it was all good. I even let Trae walk, I amazed myself there because I am such an impatient person and usually I'd force him in the cart as not to slow down the process. I grabbed necessities, told the kids no each time they asked for something, and headed out of the store. For most of my life, I've been trying to get to the next thing, and feel like I'm not thoroughly enjoying the moment.

I bought Suave shampoo, and you know what? It smells just as delicious as my expensive stuff and it suits my hair just fine.

You'd think I'd be looking forward to when I can have the expensive stuff again, right? That'd mean that we had excess money to go around again. Well, it also means my kids are that much closer to venturing out on their own, and I can wait on that.

I just can't wait for Jason to make it back and we can hang out, everyone together, and we can talk about how cute the kids are and read them books, and as soon as it warms up go for walks together.

Although this is disjointed and patchy writing, it's all I can do right now and it's what's on my heart today.


Lindsay said...

isn't it amazing how we end up not really caring about the stuff we give up because our kids are so worth it? in the end it all evens out, i guess. good outlook! :)

Sam said...

You are such an amazing person Amber, you help me realise so much what REALLY matters in life at times when I slip and start to think like the world, I too would give up any "extra" right now because they are only ours, home with us for such a short time, before we know it they will be gone and married, raising their own families, I too can wait for all the non-important things we would like to have in life, you are such a great mom, wife, friend, just all in all, great:) Dont ever lose that, I know you wont but its a gift to cherish. Love you sweetie!

Mindy said...

amen sister. i've noticed that the kids don't seem to care about all the extras. it's the parents that do (for the kids' sake, supposedly). if we can just remember that it's easy to let go of our expectations & find out what they want. my kids are thrilled to eat supper in front of the fire & then have family game night. it really doesn't take much.

Sari said...

Believe me, you are doing your kids a lot more favors by NOT buying them everything they want, and taking them on extravagent vacations and outings all the time. They will grow up to be much better adults if they learn now that life doesn't hand them everything on a silver platter!

Ben, Heather & kids said...

You always hit the nail right on the head! :)
Our kids are content with little things, because they've never been handed things on a silver platter. Since having kids, I've put myself last (as in getting new things, special treats just for me)and I really don't mind it. The joys and thrills of being a mom are worth so much more.
*Measure your wealth on the things you have that money CANNOT buy!*

Shelley said...

It is the simple things.. picnics together, hikes, and such that are special memories. It doesn't cost more than eating at home, just takes more coordination.

Have fun enjoying your kids! Teach them to appreciate the little things in life as you already are.

Red Thread said...

Enjoyed reading this post. I know the feeling lately of being burnt out on the whole blogging thing. I just have to believe it is winter, because I really DO love blogging, but if I am honest with myself...nothing sounds extra exciting these days...winter can't leave soon enough.

You are completely right when it comes to our kiddos....it's all about the "time" we spend with them, not the $ we have "spent" on them.

Heather said...

Yes, most definitely worth giving up the stuff that doesn't matter!;0)

Lis A. said...

Id give up things for me any day if it meant giving someone else something special!

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