1.17.2009

Sigh.

I'm a very lucky girl with really awesome parents. Growing up, they always let us know they were proud of us and my dad would always peer back at the 4 of us in the rear view mirror and say to mom "Aren't our girls pretty?" Of course he was trying to make us blush, and more often than not we'd roll our eyes and say "whatever dad, we are not..." but secretly, I loved that my dad though we were beautiful.

This afternoon, I was in the local thrift store shopping for work jeans with my husband. There was this man talking really loud, and when I started to pay attention to what it was that he was so heated about, I really couldn't believe it. He was a scruffy, gray bearded man in dirty clothes with big square framed glasses and a dingy jacket. I can't say for sure, but I would venture a guess that he was not with his 2 daughters mom, and had them only on his required weekends. One of his girls was in the dressing room trying on shirts while the other waited patiently outside the door all the while asking why she couldn't try anything on. Her dad said she didn't need shirts, she had plenty, and her sister was growing out of hers, so they had to get her something that fit. The girl in the dressing rooms name was Brianna, but he said it like "BreeANNa." He started off yelling at her because they "made a deal" that if he agreed to buy her some shirts, then she had to come out and show him what they looked like on. He sounded like a whiny 3 year old...BriANNa, you promised you'd show me, we had a deal BreeANNa. When she refused to come out, he said fine, give me the shirts back and you'll get nothing! Finally, after about 5 minutes of carrying on, she came out. He looked at the shirt she had on and asked if she liked it. She said yes she did, and could she get it. He told her absolutely not, it's way to tight, looks like yer squeezing yourself in one of Kiara's shirts now hang it up and try somethin else on. I was hiding around the corner so I could hear what was going on, but he wouldn't see me watching him verbally abuse his daughter. She hung up the shirt, and slid it out underneath the door for him to take. "What the hells the matter with you BreeANNa, you don't throw things on the floor. NEXT TIME, you hand it to me over the top of the door, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? Now get something else on and hurry up, you're taking way to long." She put the next shirt on and opened the door. He said "well that looks nice, you like it...?" She said sure, it was fine. "nah, I don't think so, looks a little tight." The next one he again asked if she liked it, as he said it fit really good. She excitedly said yes, she really liked it, and could she get it. "No, the sleeves are kinda weird, I don't think I like that one." I was furious with his ignorance, and commented to my mom that I wouldn't blame the girl if she stabbed her dad while he was asleep. She continued to try things on, all the while being told to hurry as he cussed at her and time after time told her they were too tight. He said, "Jeez Bree, these are size 16 (girls)we're trying on, and they're too small, this is ridiculous..." and on and on and on it went. Poor girl (s). I can't believe, knowing the love I have for my kids, that a man can stand in a store and publicly humiliate his daughter for everyone to hear over and over again. It makes me angry and sad and embarrassed for the poor little girl. He ended up not buying her anything, and I didn't ever get to see her, but my mom did and said she reminded her of Olive, from Little Miss Sunshine. She was a little pudgy, as girls on the cusp of puberty are, but definitely not fat. I don't think that she could do anything right regardless of how hard she tried. She was a great sport, usually saying quietly, "okay dad..." and remarking only once that he says that about every one, after he said yet another shirt was too tight. She'll be one of those girls that never goes home to visit her dad because of all the hurt he caused her when she was forced to endure his biting criticism and insults. He'll be the guy that dies alone.

Have you ever not spoken up, and then really really regretted it? That's where I'm at.

4 comments:

Mariah said...

Horrible situation, yes. I don't think saying something would have helped though... seems like the father (by technicality only) would have only gotten more stirred up.

Heather said...

I'll take my dad any day over something like that!! Wow, those poor girls...sounds like they have a long road ahead of them....

Heather said...

Oops...I just realized that that comment may have not sounded so very nice...what I mean is, I am VERY thankful that my dad never treated me like those girls are treated or made me feel like I'm sure those girls were feeling....;0)

papendorfs said...

Amber,
You did speak up... by posting your thoughts and feelings on it.

It would not have helped to speak up... in fact would probably have gotten the girl smacked around because he would have thought she said something to you.

Hopefully, the little girl has teachers and friends who watch out for her.

Charla

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