I wrote this letter to the baby swing the other day. (don't judge me, I need the baby swing to get anything done around here)
Dear Mr. Graco,
I'm going to try to keep my tone as even keeled as possible here, but I must warn you that I am desperate and I will get on my knees and beg if I have to. You see, my baby only sleeps when you are lightheartedly swinging him back and forth through the air. That being said, I'd like to take this opportunity to ask why you feel the need to stop, say every 3-4 minutes? I love my baby to take long naps, so I can get something done around here, and it's not really feasible for me to stand in front of you pushing you back and forth to keep him asleep. I guess what it comes down to is this: I didn't pay $90 for you 6 1/2 years ago for you not to do your job. Excuse me, what's that you say...? I beg your pardon, my children are a bit chubby yes, but you don't call them chubby butts* around me. This is the thing: This is the last baby for us. Done. So it makes no sense for us to shop for a swing now, when we have 3 more months tops that we'll be using it, and then that's it. And that's 3 more months of uninterrupted sleep at night for me, and hours of time to get crap done during the day. I am begging you, please hang on and push through. I beg you....
*actual words used by Mr. Graco substituted for ones appropriate for the ears of young children.
*******************and then I changed the batteries, so I wrote this*********************
Dear Mr. Graco,
Thank you thank you thank you. You are amazing. You keep my baby happy and comfy cozy and all cuddled up and asleep. I never guessed when I bought yo that you'd be the buy of a lifetime. I got my use out of you with my first baby and here you are 6 1/2 years later still doing your job fantastically. I just wanted to take a moment to profusely thank you and say that you really changed my life. I owe you big.
All the gratitude in the world~
p.s. I promise to change your batteries on a regular basis before ripping apart your emotions to make myself feel better.