12.20.2008

*&%$@$#&*%$# Sigh.

Last night I was so frustrated. Jason worked later than he figured, which of course couldn't be helped and I am grateful for the hours. However, as all you moms know, when you're home all day and are anxiously watching the clock and awaiting some relief, a few extra hours is a big deal. By the time he got home, I was on the verge of tears, and ready to lash out, which I did big time...I ranted and raved, raved and ranted...to a very un-sympathetic ear. (in my mind anyway, but I was over tired and missed my nap and didn't sleep well...on top of my teething) I even screamed that I just wanted to get away from you and the kids and go to Walmart by MYSELF! Then I started to cry and said I hate feeling like this. I did get out to Walmart for swing batteries (they've been 1/2 dead for 3 days, which is making Archer not sleep well) and diapers. (size 2!) I bought myself a PedEgg and a Bender Ball, I saw both on infomercials when I still worked at the group home, so I've wanted them for awhile. On the way home, I was feeling bad and hoping nothing happened to me while I was gone because I'd wanted to get away, and some chick almost pulled out in front of me. If she had, there would have been no way I'd have been able to stop, and I was doing about 50. When I got back, I hugged and kissed them all. I did 20 minutes on the elliptical when I got back (we stayed over at my parents last night so they could finish up the shower) and crashed out on the couch. Archer slept 9 1/2 hours...which makes sense because he barely slept all day, unless I stood and pushed the swing back and forth for him. I'll be glad for next week when we can veg out at Jason's parents and there will be plenty of helping hands, a playdate, and massages. I am tired and overwhelmed and I just need a break, that's all.
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