Warning: Material may not be appealing to people who are not in the mood for a rant. Reader discretion is advised!

So, in light of the fact that I've had the following conversation the past 3 weeks while shooting a wedding, it's started to really irritate me and I need to sound off about it.

Last night as I sat eating my char grilled London broil with potatoes and carrots, the lady across from me decided to strike up a conversation with me. I guess she felt entitled to my life story, even though she didn't share any of her own....she did mention that her husband had a very painful vasectomy, but that was part of a totally different conversation. Anyway, it started off like it always does:

Her: So, when;s your baby due?

Me: 6 weeks

Her: Wow, getting close...is it your first?

Me: No, it's my 4th.

Her: Wow, really?? You don't look old enough to have 4 children!!

Me: Well, I am....as you can see, I prompted her to continue with the 3rd degree.

Her: So, do you have boys or girls...?

Me: I have 2 boys and a girl.

Her: Really. SO, do you know what you're having this time?

Me: A little boy.

Her: WOW! You'll be busy....you already are!!

Me: Yeah, I am.

Her: So, you done after this?

Me: Well, that's the plan.

At this point, she catches on that I'm not really interested in this conversation anymore and awkward silence ensues. What I'd love to continue with, and could actually get away with considering my hormones is to elaborate. It'd go something like this:

Me: You know, it's not really any of your business to know all the details, but since I can see that you are hinting for them regardless of your right to know intimate details of my life, this is how the story goes. I got married over 7 years ago, and my husband and I got pregnant with our first son on purpose AND he was conceived in wedlock, which I anticipate was going to be your next invasive question. We decided soon after that we wanted a 2nd child, who was conceived with the same man that I was still married to. We were good in the kid department for awhile, but after about 2 years, found ourselves wanting yet another baby. We tried and tried to get pregnant, and after a year of trying, we finally did it! We lost that baby...how you ask?? Well, it was ectopic, attached to my right ovary and it was very painful and very hard and very sad. When she pries on asking more questions, I'd say: Well no, I didn't lose my tube, thanks for asking, and the reason for the ectopic is really unknown, however I did have stage 3 endometriosis that was removed along with my baby during emergency surgery to prevent me from bleeding to death internally. I was 6 weeks along, since you must know, and no we didn't know if it was a boy or girl. You're right, it was really hard and yeah, now that you mention it the toughest thing I've ever had to go through. Oh, you want to know where the 3rd baby came in now? NO problem!! We tried again after everything was all healed and got pregnant again after about 4 months. After worrying over every little twinge for an entire 9 months, I delivered a healthy baby boy. Really, you need details on my deliveries? NO problem....they were short and sweet. 7 hours/2pushes...4hours/no pushes, baby slid out....4 hours/baby slid out again. Names? Okay. Elliot, age 6. Brookelyn, age 4 3/4....Trae age 19 months. No name for this baby yet, we're back to the drawing board again. He was planned on, but conceived about 3 months earlier than planned, It's worked out fine though, it's not like we were all done and then had irresponsible sex that messed up our lives. What's that? Oh, yeah...all the kids have the same dad and yes we are still happily married. He does hardwood floors....we have a ranch style house, live in the country, no animals, a van and a Jetta, Humana insurance, I have 4 sisters, he has 2 brothers and a sister, yes, the PMS in our house was atrocious, my dad is actually still sane though, and yes, I shoot a lot of weddings. I know, right, some people ask such nosy things....anything else you need to know before I go? What's that? Right hand, I wipe with my right hand.....
Yeah, nice talking, getting to know one another.


Diane T. said...

Amber, Dale and I can appreciate your rant probably more than most people. After number 3 we had people telling us how to stop having babies and that maybe we should consider it. Fortunately, we didn't listen and are happily enjoying our second family while others our age are dying to be grandparents. We only walk this way once and Dale and I enjoyed the parenting so much, we didn't want it to end too soon. I am really curious how many other comments you will get on this issue, though. I guess that is why I never felt it was necessary to publish, if I felt we had enough. Nobody's business.

Tim and Melissa said...

I agree with you...some people should not be allowed to speak, is all. We had Megan and Madi 14 months apart and 'was she an accident?', or 'wow, you've been busy' was what we got...and now that Madi is 2 1/2, we get 'when's the next one coming', or 'you should have another one'. You can't please people no matter what you do...so do what's best for you!

Shannon said...


I'd actually be laughing out loud if I wasn't all by myself...I always feel stupid. I'm laughing hysterically inside...

Anonymous said...


That was awesome.

And I always wanted to know what hand. hee hee!

Later chica!

Sam said...

I have delt with a lot of this crap also and it almost always come from elderly people, 50ish, "You were not married when you had your first son!!!!!!! OH MY WORD!!!!"

NanaK said...

Amber.....you have me rolling on the floor!!.....and congrats on your little niece! :) by the way.......I love your little family!

Heather said...

Too funny! Yes, some ppl are SO nosy....thanks for sharing which hand, too...I wondered if I was the only one!:-)

Ben, Kara, Taylor & Hailey said...

hahahahahahahhaa, yes we all want to say stuff like that when we get those annoying questions and weird looks. I've had my share as well!

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