8.25.2008

It was a long, tiring weekend....
I had to shoot the wedding, you know, the one where I had to meet the couple ahead of time to make sure I had a good personality and that they liked me, yeah that one. I arrived on time after driving around and around Neenah. I hate Google Maps, MapQuest is much better. Anyhow, when I scurried in on the verge of late (I was supposed to start shooting at 12:15, I arrived at 12:00)and met a Bridesmaid on my way in and asked (politely, of course) if the bride was here and where I could find her, she led the way, and when I greeted the bride, she was standing there in a slip. And that's it. Awkward, but I've got em' to, so she covered up and I stammered that I just wanted to let her know I was here, and she could come get me when she was ready. She was really friendly, as she was embarrassed that her Fiance' insisted on meeting me and was being a big bully to my employer about it...)she had no idea there was more than one photographer at our studio.) I did my usual thing, and there's not much else to note except that my groom had alcohol breath(he only had 3...) and everything went smooth.
But, at the reception, I had The Conversation. You know, the one about how I am producing to many kids? The only variation was that the conversation was with a lady who quite possibly could have been transgendered if her little Dumbo eared, opinionated, lisping children (one boy, one girl, how perfect!!) weren't spitting images of her, and she had huge, taxidermied breasts (which is why I thought maybe she was going through the sex change). She thought she was really something, you know the people who think they can get away with saying anything that comes to their mind? Oh, and apparently so can their kids. Her son added this little tidbit....after they asked if we were done and I said that was the plan, the little punk says:
"yeah, we can only hope" and his mom said "yeah,we can only hope..."and smiled sweetly at her (homely and buck toothed)boy.
As I was thinking to my self that I should have added that all our kids were planned, 2 additional guests joined our table. I had sat in their pew during the church ceremony, and the Dad remarked that I owed him 50 cents for each time I sat next to him, grand total $3.50...one of those guys that has rude humor and no one but him (and his daughter who was with him) thought he was funny. So they sat down, her next to me and him next to her. She laughed at everything anyone said, Bevis and Butthead style...
She asked (finally, I thought she never would!) if this was my first baby. NO, it's my 4th....and her gangly, gray haired, gray toothed, Dad says "ya ain't figered out what causes that yet?"
"Actually, ALL our kids were planned." Gasps from everyone at the table...
Him: " I had 4 and I ain't planned nuh-in."
Daughter: hhhh-hh-hhhh.....hhhh-hhhhh-hhh!

The only other event of the evening was when I hit my belly on the corner of the chair and started to have contractions immediately. I knew that if I went into labor there, #1, my employer would say I ruined her reputation because if we're sick we should never let on, our job is #1, yadayadayda, and #2, the groom had remarked to his fiance that he was afraid I'd go into labor at the wedding and she told him she didn't think so, so it'd have been on of those things where they'd want money off because I went into labor and it was emotionally stressful for them and they'd have to sue the studio or something stupid, again upsetting my employer. (even though, technically, my work was done and I was hanging out until dark to get a shot by a lighted bridge and it was extra so they didn't cancel when they found out Deb wasn't going to shoot their wedding.)
Oh, and apparently, the groom and I? We be jivin' cuz' I scored me a $40 tip, and their Maid of Honor wants to book me for her wedding next September. Oh, one more thing...he came and asked if they could get a picture with me because I was a part of their day also. I obliged, and then his brother (who was taking the picture) says, "Hey, do that belly shot you wanted." Both the bride and the groom bent down and laid their heads on my belly for a picture. Can we say awkward? So I guess we got on well....

2 mice expired this weekend...

Brookelyn is at Grandma and grandpa's this week...it's her turn to do the trip. They are at Bay Beach today, fishing tomorrow, zoo and shopping Wed, free day Thurs, and Museum in Milwaukee on Fri. They will be using Mom and Dad's as a base, so if she gets home sick, we can easily get her.

3 comments:

DSBRansom said...

Hahaha! You're sooo entertaining!!

Heather said...

Wow, sounds like a fun wedding...with fun people!:-)

Sam said...

I read your blog cause I love you and I know that its the place to go when I need to laugh, you never let me down...:)

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